


"In a "nut"shell, We haven't quite found a cure yet..."

by BirdieDell



Category: iZombie (TV)
Genre: Yikes, it probably does hurt, mentions of balls/nuts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 08:58:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18869962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BirdieDell/pseuds/BirdieDell
Summary: In which efforts to find a cure DO lead to zombies not craving BRAINS--Yay!-- but still having some pretty uncomfortable cravings anyway





	"In a "nut"shell, We haven't quite found a cure yet..."

Ravi leaned toward the rat's cage with scientific interest while simultaneously recoiling away from it in horror. 

“Liv!!!!” he quaked. “You better come in here!”

Liv sauntered in, picking daintily at a kebob of alternating brain chunk and ghost pepper balls.

“What is it?”

“It seems that vial of tainted Utopium that Major found behind the body building studio didn't exactly achieve the results we were hoping for!” 

He indicated the bloody scene in the cage with one hand while shielding his eyes with his other.

“Oh dear! Well, back to square one.” Liv sighed. “Poor little Squeaky McNo-Brainer seems to have re-zombified and is now eating his mate's....oh, wait! Is he eating...is he eating the poor other dude's....???”

“Balls!!!! Yes! Yes, he is actually doing that!”

Ravi involuntarily snapped his own legs together with a vengeance while watching the grisly drama in front of him.

“Oh, no!” Both morticians exclaimed as realization suddenly dawned on them. “Major!!!!!!”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _

On the other side of the city, Major counted off 10 reverse grip lat pulldowns for his last client of the day.

“You got this! You're a beast! Push it! Push it!” he shouted, pumping a fist in the air in a show of moral support for the man who was beet red and sweating on the workout bench in front of him. 

Major added another ten pounds to the barbell and thought about how good the Seaman's platter was going to be later than night at the Oceanside Diner, where he planned to take his date. He was feeling pretty much on top of the world anyway, knowing that the last injection of Utopium Wondermix that Ravi and Liv had given him might cure him of this whole zombie thing once and for all. He was looking forward to having his sense of taste back.

As the client continued to heave and grunt under the added strain, Major found his eyes traveling down the man's body, past the pulsing veins in the neck, across the rippling abs, all the way down to a bulge under black spandex.

Suddenly, fried clams and coconut shrimp didn't seem that appealing anymore.

Like a lion pouncing on a gazelle, Major plucked the athletic cup off the muscleman and dug right in.

_ _ _ _ _


End file.
